


A Triptych of Cutlery

by bafflinghaze



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Fluff, Footnotes, M/M, Smut, Spooning, Top Crowley (Good Omens), post not-apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-23 23:43:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20016733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bafflinghaze/pseuds/bafflinghaze
Summary: In Which Aziraphale and Crowley Spoon, Fork, and Spork.





	1. In Which Aziraphale and Crowley Spoon

Aziraphale stopped reading aloud from his book [1] and looked up when Crowley made an odd sound [2]. Crowley was slumped on the sofa, eyes closed.

Aziraphale placed his book down. “Crowley? Are you alright?”

Crowley stirred, blinking slowly. “Of course, angel,” he slurred.

His eyes weren’t quite focusing, leading Aziraphale to worry. Aziraphale covered the few steps to Crowley in a beat. He kneeled by him, and rested a hand on Crowley’s forehead [3]. “Are you sick? Are you _hurt_ —”

Crowley’s lips quirked into a smile. “—M’just sleepy.”

Aziraphale sighed with relief. “Oh! Let’s get you to bed, then.”

Crowley waved a weak hand. “No, no, angel, it’s fine. Keep reading, your voice is divine…”

“ _No excuses_ ,” Aziraphale said. He slipped his arms under Crowley’s body and lifted him up. Aziraphale had a bedroom in his upstairs flat above the bookshop, and this is where Aziraphale took Crowley now.

Unfortunately, the room had been set up by Crowley when Aziraphale first opened the shop, and Aziraphale hadn’t touched it since. Crowley’s nose wrinkled, for the room was rather dusty.

Aziraphale had the grace to flush. “Sorry, Crowley. I don’t sleep very often.”

Still in Aziraphale’s arms, Crowley clicked his fingers. All the dust disappeared, and the bedding entirely changed to a repeating motif of apples and angel’s wings.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes fondly at Crowley’s smug smirk. He lay Crowley down and helped him beneath the covers. “Alright, Crowley?” he asked, fingers briefly trailing over the delicate long strands of Crowley’s hair [4].

Crowley hummed.

Azirphale withdrew his hand and turned to leave.

“Wait. Angel. Where are you going?” came Crowley’s slurred words.

Aziraphale turned back to see Crowley’s hand searching the air, and Crowley’s eyes closed. “Ah. I was just going back to my books.”

Crowley patted the space next to him. “Please. Stay for a bit?”

“Oh, well, if you put it like _that_ …” How could Aziraphale resist? He shedded his outer layers, improper for lying down, and slipped into the bed next to Crowley. His heart fluttered a little at Crowley’s bright, sleepy smile.

“C’mere, yes, just like that—” Crowley tugged Aziraphale, until they were both on their sides, Crowley’s front against Aziraphale’s chest, and Crowley’s limbs wrapped around Aziraphale as though snake coils. Then, Crowley stilled, releasing the lightest of sighs.

“Crowley? Dear?”

At no reply, Aziraphale sighed fondly. Crowley had fallen asleep [5].

Now, Aziraphale _could_ extract himself from Crowley’s hold. But he had to admit that it was quite warm and comfortable.

 _Maybe I’ll try this sleeping thing_ , Aziraphale decided. He could read a book, but the position wasn’t his preferred; and he didn’t want to depart from his dear Crowley yet. Mimicking Crowley’s behaviour, Aziraphale closed his eyes and slowed down his breathing. He pulled Crowley’s arms against his chest, wriggled himself into an even _more_ comfortable position...and fell asleep to sweet dreams of the stars beyond [6].

  


  


* * *

  


  


[1] For the interested reader, this was Aziraphale’s copy of the original Hans Christian Anderson stories. [return]

[2] This sound was in fact, a snore, but as the Principality Aziraphale tended _not_ to be around sleeping humans, he did not recognise this fact. [return]

[3] Technically, Aziraphale didn’t _need_ to touch a person to miracle them to health, but this was _Crowley_ , and Aziraphale couldn’t help himself. And he _had_ seen humans do this exact same gesture--that was his excuse, should Crowley ask. [return]

[4] Aziraphale had once mentioned in passing how he’d adored the flow of long hair—and to Crowley, that was that. [return]

[5] In fact, Crowley had fallen asleep _instantly_ , for Aziraphale’s scent and Aziraphale’s softness was utterly overpowering and Crowley was entirely warm and comfortable and safe. [return]

[6] This was, in fact, also Crowley’s dream, filled with the joyous feelings of when he’d made those stars. And how, you may ask? _Well_ , when angels and demons are close, their auras inevitable mingle and mix. And for Aziraphale and Crowley who have _swapped faces_ , their auras have started to _merge_ , just a little. [return]

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know who else loves apples? Draco Malfoy (#drapple)
> 
> Linked notes made with the help of [this tutorial](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4579026/chapters/10429149).


	2. In Which Aziraphale and Crowley Fork

“I’ll set up cakes and tea in the parlour, shall I?” Crowley asked as he and Aziraphale entered his flat.

“Ah, yes,” Aziraphale said distractedly. His fingers were twisting together, his glance darting around the room.

Crowley gave him a concerned look. “Angel?”

Aziraphale cleared his throat. “ _Well_ ,” he said, a beautiful flush rising to his cheeks. “I thought we could recreate that _statue_ of yours first.” [7]

 _Oh fuck_ , Crowley thought, as he immediately made an Effort. “The wings, too?” he asked. “The flat isn’t quite big enough unless we _miracle_ something…”

Aziraphale ducked his eyes. “Well, if it isn’t too much…” he looked at Crowley, mouth set in a slight pout. Crowley found himself smiling back.

“ _Of course_ , angel.”

Barely moments later [8], they were both naked and wrestling on the thick rug in the newly expanded parlour.

“You _foul fiend_ ,” Aziraphale cried, white-gold wings trembling as he tried to push against Crowley’s pin to the wall.

“Oh, but you _want_ to give in, don’t you?” Crowley hissed, lips barely an inch apart from Aziraphale’s. He leaned closer, tonguing Aziraphale’s ear. “Not fighting at your full strength—”

Crowley grunted when Aziraphale shoved him and threw him back. Crowley’s wings beat furiously as he regained his balance.

“I will _not_ ,” Aziraphale declared. “No devil could—”

Crowley launched himself forward and tackled Aziraphale onto the ground. They grappled, skin sliding across skin, cocks pressing against bodies.

Aziraphale gasped when Crowley grinded down particularly hard. Crowley smirked, devouring that flush on Aziraphale’s cheeks that went down his neck, down his chest—

“Oh, _yesss_ ,” Crowley hissed. “How _utterly_ delectable.” He licked a hot stripe along Aziraphale’s throat.

“Oh— _oooh_ ,” Aziraphale moaned. In a split second, Crowley managed to flip Aziraphale over and push in him down into the rug, one hand on Aziraphale’s back, the other hand twisting Aziraphale’s arm _almost_ to the edge of cruelty.

“You want me to have my _wicked_ way with you, don’t you, angel? Wanting, always _wanting_ …”

Aziraphale’s wings flared out and he squirmed, soft arse _right_ against Crowley’s cock. With a hiss, Crowley pushed Aziraphale down harder.

“Open up for me, angel, _you can do it_.”

Aziraphale’s upper body sunk to the ground as he submitted, and his hips tilted up. His free hand pulled back one arse cheek. “Oh Crowley, _yes_ , Crowley—”

Hot arousal burned through Crowley at the sight. He released on hand from Aziraphale, just a moment, to slip his cock right in. Aziraphale was tight, the delicious _bastard_. Dry, too, but Crowley’s cock had more than enough pre-cum to lube the way.

“ _Fuck_ , you’re good, angel,” Crowley groaned. He grabbed Azirapahle’s soft, soft hips and started fucking, hard.

“ _Yes, yes, yes_ ,” Aziraphale cried. His wings were trembling, his entire body shaking. Crowley used one hand to ruffle Aziraphale’s feathers, a coarse scratching that would be _so_ much tortuous than stroking Aziraphale’s cock.

“ _Look_ at you, spread out, taking a _demon_ like such a _good boy_.”

Azirapahle gave an aborted gasped. “You _evil_...”

Crowley leaned forward, his chest against Aziraphale’s back, his wings encircling them both in feathered midnight black. “Are you going to come for me, angel? Are you going to release in _ssssheer pleasssure?_ How does it _feel_ , angel, to be _taken by me?_ ”

“ _So_ good,” Aziraphale moaned. “Oh, darling, it’s like your _love_ is moulding my body from inside out—!”

“ _Ffffucck_ —” Crowley’s hips sped up, going deeper and _deeper_. _Every_ spot was a point of pleasure for Aziraphale; Aziraphale seemed to be getting _tighter and tighter_ at every thrust. “ _Angel_. Azirapahle. You—”

Aziraphale came with cry and white blinding light. The pure heat zinged through Crowley’s every pore and he came an instant later, hips grinding, cock pulsing hot inside _his fucking angel_.

 _His love_ , Crowley thought nonsensically. His love was coming from his cock, coming until Crowley couldn’t catch his breath, until his entire body collapsed in a slump on top of Aziraphale.

“ _Oof_ ,” Aziraphale said, “My wings—”

Groaning, Crowley pushed himself back to his knees, stroking Aziraphale’s wings in apology.

Azirphale wriggled his shoulders a little, and his wings left the mortal plane. Crowley followed suit. Limbs shifted about as Aziraphale rolled onto this back to face Crowley. His cheeks were red, eyes shiny, and hair mussed. Oh Satan, Crowley loved him _so damn much_.

“Tea and cake?” Aziraphale said with a little grin on his lips, body sprawled out.

Crowley just _had_ to kiss him, just _had_ to run his hands over every expanse of Aziraphale’s skin.

“Ahh—” Aziraphale hummed. “Perhaps after this,” he smirked, spreading out his legs.

And Crowley happily obliged.

  


  


* * *

  


  


[7] Yes. _That_ [statue](https://neil-gaiman.tumblr.com/post/170898533526/the-statue-in-crowleys-flat-it-represents). [return]

[8] The two have talked about _safe words_ and limits before (and _no_ , “Gabriel” is _not_ their safeword). We have skipped such more discussions here to get to the _action_ , as it were. Oh, and the cakes and tea are in the kitchen. [return]


	3. In Which Aziraphale and Crowley Spork

Crowley woke slowly, warm and comfortable. He was nude, and his limbs tightly wrapped around an equally nude Aziraphale; all that soft skin under his touch. A warm feeling [9] spread over his chest at the thought of his angel [10], and he hugged a little tighter and resolved to go back to sleep.

“Ah. Crowley.”

“Mmm?” he mumbled, pouting at his dashed plans. Keeping his eyes firmly shut, he ran a hand down Aziraphale’s side. “Can’t be tomorrow yet, can it?”

Aziraphale cleared his throat. “Not at all. Sorry to bother you, dear. Go back to sleep.” He wriggled in Crowley’s arms, soft arse rubbing into Crowley’s groin. Aziraphale’s arm straightened downwards, and his breath became shallow gasps—

—and Crowley hissed, cock hardening as he realised what Aziraphale was doing. “ _Wanking_ , angel?”

“If you’re not _helping_ ,” Aziraphale huffed.

Crowley’s hand snaked down Aziraphale’s chest and displaced Aziraphale’s hand. Aziraphale’s cock was hot and plump in his fingers. Crowley miracled some lube and started stroking.

“ _Ooohhh_ ,” Aziraphale tensed and started squirming, bottom nudging back at Crowley. “Could we? Could you?”

“ _Of course_ , angel.” With slow, unhurried movements, Crowley nudged his cock between Aziraphale’s arsecheeks.

“ _Mmm_ ,” Aziraphale gave a breathy sigh. “C’mon, Crowley…” He wiggled back, tilting his hips. Reaching his hand back, he guided Crowley’s cock in. Crowley hissed as hot-soft-wet enveloped him.

“You’re—are you still wet from _last night_?” [11]

Aziraphale hummed. “Am I?” he asked innocently.

Crowley could just imagine the look of self-satisfaction on Aziraphale’s face. Smiling fondly, he pulled Aziraphale tight against him, and nudged Aziraphale’s legs open a little more, as much as they could while both lying on their sides.

Crowley’s eyes slipped closed; he inhaled deeply against Aziraphale’s neck, his hips lazily thrusting. They had all the time in the world, just the two of them; and in the darkness behind his eyes, Aziraphale’s presence shone like the purest light.

Aziraphale gave little sighing moans. “Oh, Crowley, oh _Crowley_ ,” he mumbled.

“How does it feel, angel?” Crowley breathed. For Aziraphale felt _divine_. If he could just hug tighter, fuck deeper, Crowley could just _melt_ in Aziraphale and stay there forever.

Aziraphale’s breath hitched. “Complete,” he murmured. “You complete me, dear. If you could never leave—”

“I wouldn’t, angel, I would never leave you,” Crowley nuzzled his head into Aziraphale. He reached a hand forward and began stroking Aziraphale again.

“ _Yess_ ,” Aziraphale squirmed. “Yes, _yes_. Dear, dear Crowley, come inside me—”

Pure _warmth_. Pure _softness_. Pure _pleasure_. And pure, pure, entirely, fully, deeply _Aziraphale_. It built and built—and Crowley stroked Aziraphale just a little faster, his hips thrusted just a little harder—

“ _Oooohhh_ —” Aziraphale’s entire body trembled as he came, hot and wet over Crowley’s fingers, over the sheets. He tightened around Crowley and Crowley came, completely lost, a soft, floaty high of white that spread from his cock and suffused through his body.

“ _Mmmno_ veyou,” Crowley mumbled.

“Haa—” Aziraphale sighed. “What was that?”

Crowley grouched. “ _Love_ you,” he muttered. “Probably.”

Aziraphale’s body shook as he giggled. “Oh, my dear boy.”

Crowley grouched some more and started to pull out—only for Aziraphale to tug his arm.

“Just stay in. I want to feel you…”

“How _devious_ ,” Crowley smirked. “Why, tempting me from tempting humans.”

Aziraphale gave a bright little laugh. “Your influence entirely, darling. This position...is quite perfect.” He sighed happily. “I feel full.”

It was indeed, Crowley thought. He had Aziraphale in his arms, all safe and sound, and they could fuck at any moment’s notice—like _now_ …

Aziraphale gasped delicately. “Are you _hardening_ in me?”

Crowley smirked. “As though this _wasn’t_ your plan, angel, tightening around me like that.” He reached over for Aziraphale’s cock once again. “Insatiable, angel.”

“Oh—no—let _me_.” Aziraphale began fucking himself on Crowley’s cock. It was wet, and slick, even slicker than before. “You can—you could go to sleep, if you wish.”

Crowley smiled fondly. “My dear depraved angel,” he said. But he let Aziraphale have his wicked way with his cock, until Aziraphale was coming _again_ , body trembling and hole tightening, and Crowley was coming, cock pulsing hot inside Aziraphale’s arse.

Aziraphale’s heavy pants slowed to soft breaths, and he finally relaxed. “Mmm, sleepy now.”

“Good,” Crowley said. He stroked Aziraphale’s hair, for a moment, and tangled with Aziraphale’s limbs and went back to sleep, still connected to his angel [12].

  


  


_The End._

  


  


* * *

  


  


[9] This feeling is Love, dear readers. [return]

[10] _And_ all of their activities in prior days, and of his angel in the last 6000 years...oh, we all know that Crowley’s a big softie for Aziraphale. [return]

[11] A night filled with debauchery _and_ decadent cake, not to mention debauchery _with_ cake. Oh, Aziraphale was in absolute bliss, and Crowley wasn’t far behind him—literally. [return]

[12] They will have part, eventually, but Aziraphale fancied that their souls were forever entwined, and Crowley believed him. [return]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typically, a minimum cutlery set would involve a spoon, a fork, and a knife. "Knife" has been included for free, here, for it is also slang for a penis. Sometimes, cutlery sets can also include chopsticks. Now, imagine Aziraphale sucking on Crowley's thin fingers 😉
> 
> You can find me at [tumblr@bafflinghaze](https://bafflinghaze.tumblr.com)


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